A Profound Sense of Loss
It's been a quiet week of repose for me as I lost a friend recently. While we weren't the closest of friends, I still considered him a friend, and his loss has definitely had an impact. He was smart as a whip - able to see things about life and the world that I just can't - and he was genuine. To say that he left an empty space within those of us who knew him is an understatement. There are those moments here and there when you think, "I wonder what he would say?" or "What would he think about that?"
Death comes, like a thief in the night,
taking from one the burden of life.
He was young, younger than I, so inevitably, I start thinking about my own life. I've talked about this more than once in the past, and ever since this tragedy has befallen us, I'm more resolved than ever. I'm resolved to make better connections with those I care about so I can have more meaningful relationships. I'm resolved to take care of my body so I can live a longer, healthier, and more robust life. I'm resolved to think more mindfully so I can approach conversations and important tasks in my life with patience and wisdom. Last, but not least, I'm resolved to make plans for my future so I can live the life I choose and not the one I'm stuck with.
Life is an entity, breathing and thrashing,
heart beating and teeth gnashing.
I think too about my friend himself. If I had known he was going to leave this life so soon, I would have made sure to say some things...anything really. Part of the shock is knowing that I can't impart any kind of goodbye, and it makes me sad. I also think about his wife and his kids, and how they are now alone. They're not alone in a literal sense, but they are no longer complete. All they have now are their memories. I've often said before to people, "Take comfort in the good memories you have." While that is certainly true, memories - no matter how great - will never take the place of the living, breathing, person that you love.
Memories of you float in the air,
I mourn you here, I mourn you there.
Rest in peace my friend. I wish I could tell you how much you'll be missed.